White coat. Heels.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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