I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
tell me about the fingering
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