Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she smelled like a LAN party
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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