He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am mentally ready for anal.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
