so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
