Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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