I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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