shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
