Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
