is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
