Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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