If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize