But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
