he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
