What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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