i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
