if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
where am i from again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
