i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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