when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Randomize
