Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Someone shit on the floor
I skipped work to stalk him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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