I'm lost and stupid without you.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
