With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
love makes seman taste better
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
