do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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