well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
