garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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