i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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