so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
