i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
