Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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