I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
