Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
