She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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