You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
