I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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