And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
