Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
