hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
