stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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