That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
