I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
