Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
