This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
