she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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