3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
