kristin has been a bad kristin
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
