found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
