my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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