ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
