1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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