Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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