gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
