He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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