he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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