Plan B is the new Plan A
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
