I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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