I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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