WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
