you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
