Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize