i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
