Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
