He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
