The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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