I bet he comes in French.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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