Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
